  No one is more surprised than me that it's halfway through summer (or, actually, where I am, it's two weeks into back to school time!). Time really flew! One minute we were adventuring through Ireland, where we climbed to the top of castles, crawled through caves, almost blew away with the wind at the Cliffs of Moher, chatted with puffins, hiked down, down, down to feel the splash of a momentous waterfall, filled our bellies with delicious food, and our hearts with forever memories. Then, I blinked, and suddenly it was time to walk to the bus stop. Alas, since it is back to school for my kids, I finally have my writing-during-regular-hours time back (mostly!). And, happily, that means that I finally get to write this blog post that I intended for the beginning of summer. Ohh time . . . where did you go? When I described our trip to Ireland above, notice that I immersed you in what we did through senses *other than seeing*, and yet, you were able to feel and see clearly, the scope of our trip. Funny how that works, right? When we take away one sense, it strengthens our other ones. Thus, we are able to experience more fully. So, let's apply that to our picture book writing. In a previous post, I DIG DEEPER INTO REVISION by asking questions to reveal and elevate your picture book manuscript. (see how to get the updated Revision Checklist straight to your inbox at the end of this post) In this one, I am going to zoom in on one question that is essential to maximizing the picture book format. Doing this one thing will allow your story to work on a level that is unique to the picture book format, and make it feel more like an experience, than a story. That is: How can you create descriptions that show us what we won't already see in the text? It's a question I ask myself during revision, and the one question that I ask the most of other writers when I critique or edit their work. Picture books have illustrations (unless it is THE BOOK WITH NO PICTURES by BJ Novak - an exception!) and the illustrations will show us, visually, what is happening in your story. Therefore, your job in the text, as the author, is to give us something more, or different, so that we can more fully and deeply experience this moment. Can you reveal more about the main character? like how Kelly DiPucchio describes Oona (from OONA, illustrated by Raissa Figeuroa), as "sweet . . . and a little bit salty, like the ocean where she lived. She was also brave and curious, like most treasure hunters." We can taste that ocean water, and the saltiness of Oona's personality through that clever character and story opening. Additionally, we now know that Oona is a treasure hunter, which is intriguing. We want to flip the page to find out more. Notice how the text does not tell us that Oona is a mermaid. We can *see* that in the illustration, and thus noting it in the text would be repetitive, and use up precious word economy!
Can you give us details we cannot see, but that add to the humor and context of how your character is feeling? like how Muon Thi Van does in CLEVER LITTLE WITCH, illustrated by Hyewon Yum, when we learn that "A baby brother will use your mouse as a flashlight and keep you awake for hours. I do not like Baby Phu one bit." This reveals more about why the sister would be annoyed, which helps us relate and empathize better, especially when she shares what she's thinking at the moment (an excellent detail that strengthens the character development, and shows us more about their relationship - these antics are occurring regularly!
Can you include dialogue that not only gives us the voice of the characters, but also the voice and feel of your story? like how Christy Mandin does in MILLIE FLEUR'S POISON GARDEN (one of my favorite new books!!) to help us understand how strong the townfolks' distate is for the main character's garden. "'It's odd," said a man in a rather common sport coat. "It's unruly!" said a lady in a stiffly starched dress. "Appalling!" bellowed Colonel Stick-in-the-Mud." How hilarious. What is delivered here is a strong sense of each character, and Christy uses this opportunity to give us details that squarely set up what kind of people these are - ones who wear "rather common sport coats, stiffly starched dresses, and turn their noses to things that don't fit in this idea of "perfect". And, Colonel Stick-in-the-Mud . . . could that be any more on the nose or funny of a name to give him??!
Perhaps there is an excellent refrain you could use, that would elevate the read-aloud-ability of your story, and also drive the plot forward? like how Loren Long uses onomatopeia to create a rhythmic refrain that keeps a consistent pattern, but differs in words depending on the characters entering the bus in THE YELLOW BUS. Or, like how Beatrice Alemagna's titular refrain drives her plot forward, reveals her character's feelings, and then, the way it is used at the end of the story leaves us smiling and smirking.
Finally, could you use a different sense--taste, smell, feel, or hearing, that can reveal something MORE about the character, or the plot? like in Maurice Sendak's brilliant last page of WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, where the text is so perfect, and so revealing of how much Max's mother loves him, and how five little words can convey the feeling of home so well that he didn't even need (and didn't use) an illustration on this page to show that feeling. "and it was still hot."  Now it's your turn. Go back to your picture book work in progress. Where are the natural page turns in your story? Separate them through spaces, or with a physical line, or through numeric pagination. This is a part of your revision--not how you have to/are recommended to submit your manuscript. Then, go word by word, line by line through the text. As you do, imagine what the illustrations will be on this page of text (again, this is a revision practice. Do not write illustration notes unless they are necessary when you format your picture book text for submission!). Where are there redundancies in the text and art? (Strike the text). As you work to revise the text and improve it, ask yourself, How can I create descriptions that show us what we won't already see in the text? And then, dig in. Work your magic to elevate the non-visual descriptions. Can't you hear me clapping for you, cheering you on? Maybe you can't see that you're close to the finish line with this manuscript. But I can. "You can do it!" "You've got this!" **If you want the complete updated list of DIGGING DEEPER INTO REVISION: QUESTIONS TO REVEAL AND ELEVATE YOUR PICTURE BOOK MANUSCRIPT, then comment LIST below*, and I'll send it to your inbox.** *your email shows up only to me, not in the comments Happy Revising! -Katrina ✨  Katrina Moore is an author and former elementary educator. She holds a M.A. in Teaching and taught for thirteen years in Maryland, Massachusetts, New York, and New Jersey. She writes in Georgia, where her mission is to create books that children will hug for ages. She is the author of CHANG'E ON THE MOON, illustrated by Cornelia Li (HarperCollins, Sept. 3, 2024), and THE STAR IN YOU (Macmillan/Roaring Brook, Oct, 15, 2024), and the acclaimed and beloved picture books, HOPE IS A HOP, SOMETIMES LOVE (named a Bank Street College of Education's Best Books of the Year 2023), ONE HUG, GRANDPA GRUMPS (a Georgia 2023 Picture Book Award finalist), and its companion, GRUMPY NEW YEAR , as well as the forthcoming BIG JOB FOR LITTLE BABIES board book series, illustrated by Benson Shum (Abrams Appleseed, 2025). She is also the author of the humorous TEENY HOUDINI chapter book series, illustrated by Zoe Si, starring the magic-loving, mayhem-making Bessie Lee in TEENY HOUDINI: THE DISAPPEARING ACT, TEENY HOUDINI: THE SUPER SECRET VALENTINE, and TEENY HOUDINI: THE GIANT PANDA PLAN. TEENY HOUDINI: THE DISAPPEARING ACT is nominated for the 2025 Washington State Otter award, and GRANDPA GRUMPS is nominated for the 2025 Illinois State Monarch Award.
When she is not writing, she is cooking without a recipe, painting outside the lines, adventuring, or snuggling up with her two kids, husband, pups, and of course, a cozy book. Connect with her on twitter @kmoorebooks or at www.katrinamoorebooks.com.
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AuthorKatrina Moore is an author and former elementary educator. She writes in Georgia. where her mission is to create books that children will hug for ages. She's the author of ONE HUG, GRANDPA GRUMPS, SOMETIMES LOVE, GRUMPY NEW YEAR, HOPE IS A HOP, and the forthcoming CHANG'E ON THE MOON (HarperCollins, 2024), and THE STAR IN YOU. (RBP/Macmillan, 2024), as well as the humorous TEENY HOUDINI chapter book series, starring the magic-loving, mischief-making Bessie Lee, and more. Connect with her on twitter! Freelance EditorKatrina has professionally critiqued over hundreds of picture book manuscripts at writing conferences she has presented at, through her work as a council member, mentor, and presenter for the Rutgers One-on-One-Plus conference, as a Critique Ninja, and through her freelance editing services. Her editorial work and services, attention to detail, and ability to bring manuscripts to the “next level” have been highly praised by editors, agents, published authors, and those receiving critiques. For more details, and to inquire about rates, contact Katrina.
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